True love embraces responsibility

Yesterday I posted in Being Frank on a post about the increasing cultural trend of uncommitted relationships and broken marriages which leave behind solo parents. I know firsthand the sort of lasting grief it can cause, especially for the solo parent and the children, and I hate to see this becoming the norm. Here’s what I wrote:

Coming from a broken family myself, it really does distress me to see that this sort of “casual love/sex” lifestyle is becoming the norm.

It really is a problem when people divorce the concepts of ‘love’ and ‘responsibility’ (which is the same as ‘commitment’). The two go hand in hand, or it is not true love. Love seeks the good of the beloved, as Benedict XVI says in his encyclical Deus Caritas Est.

A man who does not care about his lover’s future, or about the child’s, is a man who is not in love; he is a self-seeking individual experiencing infatuation. So no true love can exist in an uncommitted sexual relationship; the man would be afraid of being led into a committed relationship, and the woman afraid that she’s being used as a simple object of gratification. It’s simply against their true desire and nature, which is to love and be loved unconditionally.

I feel for the solo parents out there. It’s a difficult task, raising children alone. I feel for the children too. I know what it can be like, and nobody should have to go through it.

I just hope the society realizes the damage it creates – the suffering and sorrow it creates – not only by accepting broken families as the norm, but by promoting promiscuity, “safe-sex” (so-called), contraceptive mentality (which erodes away true self-giving love) and generally saturating the culture with sex. I think our popular culture is sometimes incapable of linking the problems with their cause – or is unwilling to do so. It’s time our society had a hard look at itself and repent of its hedonistic and ruinous lifestyle.

This cheapened love and the dehumanization of relationships are serious dangers to the future of humanity, which threaten the very foundation of our society – the family. As John Paul II said, “as the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live” – a word of warning the world would do well to take heed.


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